A Final Fantasy Cell Games
by Ayane
Summary: This contains Sailor Moon references, Final Fantasy, DBZ, tons of stuff! I decide to help fight Cell alongside my friend Aeris (NOT the one that snuffed it) and errr...stuff!


Ayane: Hello Forums! While me and Zidane finish watching Family Guy re- runs, I decided to pop into the Dragon Ball world for a visit. Bad news people, Cell is hosting the Cell Games and I've brought over Sephy-chan, Zidane, Kuja, Vivi, Cloud (and his hoe Squall since he threatened to show me Brahne porn X_X), Quina and Aeris-The-Other-Sephy-Freak^^  
  
Aeris: HEY! I am not a freak...just ask Sephy-chan^^  
  
Sephiroth: O_O WHEN WILL YOU GIRLS STOP STALKING ME?!  
  
Ayane: When Kuja goes straight.  
  
Kuja: *Starts to cry uncontrollably*  
  
Zidane: Umm...there there brother O_o *Pats Kuja on the back*  
  
Quina: Me hungry! Quina thinks we should eat Cell! He sound like good gourmand!  
  
Everyone: *Sweatdrops*  
  
Kuja: *Stops wailing* Shouldn't we enter the portal to the DragonBall World?  
  
Ayane: Methinks you have a point there Kuja. After three, everyone click your heels and jump through that "X."  
  
Vivi: Isn't that a little retarded?  
  
Cloud: *Rolls eyes and clicks his fingers. Everyone has a pair of red slippers on and do the latter actions*  
  
In da Dragon Ball World...(heheh, always wanted to say that ^_^)  
  
Everyone: *Falls from a great height. Squall is at the bottom, while Kuja, Cloud, Aeris, Vivi, Zidane, Quina, Sephiroth and Ayane squash him into the ground*  
  
Ayane: Sephy-chan! I didn't know you cared so much!^^  
  
Squall: Get...offa...me -__-  
  
Kuja: Oooh...soft legs Squall...  
  
Vivi: Help!  
  
Aeris: Stop hitting on Squall, Kuja!  
  
Zidane: Errrk X_O  
  
Quina: Quina didn't know Zidane like Quina as much as Quina do! *Blushes*  
  
Sephiroth: STOP FEELING MY ASS AYANE!  
  
Cloud: Save meee!  
  
Then, Goku, Gohan, Piccolo, Vegita, Yamucha, Mirai Trunks *Drools* and uhh...Puar!  
  
Puar: Umm...who the hell are these people?  
  
Yamucha: The two girlies are cuute!  
  
Aeris: Uhh...  
  
Ayane: *Presses a button on her remote and an anvil hits Yamucha, applause appears from nowhere*  
  
Vegita: I never liked that freak anyway :) *Hands Ayane a cookie*  
  
Quina: Man with sticked up hair look yummy! *Chases Vegita*  
  
Vegita: CALL OFF THE MARSHMALLOOOW!  
  
Goku: Oooo^^ Marshmallow! *Chases after Quina*  
  
Piccolo: *Sweatdrops*  
  
Trunks: *Points at Kuja* It's the crossdresser who sent me those pictures!  
  
Kuja: *Blinks* NO WAY!  
  
Gohan: Hell yes!  
  
Kuja: I did not...SEND OUT PICTURES OF ME NAKED!  
  
Zidane: Well you did sign your name on them X_X  
  
Cloud: When you send out pictures, never sign them godammit! I found that out the hard way...  
  
Squall: Ah yes, but I did receive them^^  
  
Ayane: *Rolls eyes* Someone shoot me...anyways, we came here to help you fight Cell!  
  
Aeris: We shall triumph over Cell!  
  
Sephiroth: Because we are the Final Fantasy Senshi! *All of Ayane's group pose like the Sailor Senshi, apart from Quina who is still chasing Vegita*  
  
DBZ Gang: O___O  
  
Vegita: *Ties Quina and Goku to a tree with metal chains* We don't need Sailor Moon references thank-you-very-much Ayane!  
  
Aeris: Where is Cell anyway?  
  
Piccolo: Watching us, drinking a Bud...wait, what the hell did I just say?  
  
Ayane: It's my real self's fault. She's busy writing this...and she's had too much sugar -_-  
  
*Josie (Da real me^^) appears from nowhere*  
  
Josie: I DIDNT HAVE TOO MUCH SUGAR GODAMMIT! *Electrocutes Ayane*  
  
Aeris: I'm scared...hold me Sephy-chan!  
  
Sephiroth: Argh! *Dodges Aerises Unbreakable Hug©*  
  
Josie: Bai bai everyone! *Waves and disappears*  
  
Ayane: O_O  
  
Squall and Cloud: *Waves bye like a bunch of idiots*  
  
Puar: X_X Are they gay?  
  
Everyone: Yes.  
  
Vegita: Look, I cannot believe that you weakling are going to help me defeat Cell...hello?  
  
*Ayane has her iron fans drawn, Aeris has her samurai sword out, Sephiroth is holding his Masamune at Vegita, Zidane and Kuja has Tranced (Boobs!) Cloud and Squall are sharpening their swords while Quina is about to cast a Blue Magic Spell*  
  
Aeris: You were saying?  
  
Vegita: O_O  
  
*Everyone charges at Vegita and mushes him into the ground, ala a great big herd of elephants*  
  
Vegita: Urrr...kowai...*Faints*  
  
Trunks: Waidaminnut...is that Sephiroth?  
  
Sephiroth: Hmm?  
  
Trunks: WAI! MY HERO! I LOVE YOUR SWORD! *Latches himself onto Sephiroth's arm with the sparkly anime eyes*  
  
Aeris & Ayane: Grrrr...  
  
Everyone: O_O  
  
Ayane: Oh my god...can one of you guys get a power-scan on us?  
  
Then Puar morphs into the Terminator (^_^)!  
  
Puar: I am de Terminator...scanning powerlevels...*Clicky noises*  
  
Suspect: Sephiroth  
  
Gender: Male  
  
Age: 16(Let's make him young ne?^^)  
  
Powerlevel: 537,000,000  
  
Suspect: Aeris-the-Sephy-freak  
  
Gender: Female  
  
Age: ???  
  
Powerlevel: 244,000,000  
  
Suspect: Kuja  
  
Gender: Unknown :D  
  
Age: 16  
  
Powerlevel: 510,000,000  
  
Suspect: Zidane  
  
Gender: Male  
  
Age: 16  
  
Powerlevel: 510,000,000  
  
Suspect: Squall  
  
Gender: Male  
  
Age: 17  
  
Powerlevel: -1  
  
Suspect: Cloud  
  
Gender: Male. Has a tendency to crossdress.  
  
Age: 26  
  
Powerlevel: 10,000,000  
  
Suspect: Quina  
  
Gender: Unable to comply request  
  
Age: Unable to comply request  
  
Powerlevel: Unable to comply request.  
  
Suspect: Vivi  
  
Gender: Male  
  
Age: 8 (?)  
  
Powerlevel: 400,000,002  
  
Suspect: Ayane  
  
Gender: Female  
  
Age: 13  
  
Powerlevel: KsshFuRuRu *Puar starts to crackle*  
  
Yamucha: Puar?  
  
Puar: Ayane...doesn't...compute...*Blows up*  
  
Ayane: O_o What what what whaaat?  
  
Trunks: It means you're screwy with androids or...you have a high powerlevel...*Twilight Zone music plays*  
  
Zidane: And you could be...an alien...*Face darkens*  
  
Vegita: *Wakes up* How come that thief has a tail?  
  
Vivi: He and Kuja's a Genome. They were created with tails, and the rest of them all look like Zidane...urrgh -_-  
  
Aeris: Besides, when exactly does the Cell Games start?  
  
Piccolo: Tomorrow.  
  
*Ayane, Sephiroth and Aeris blink many times*  
  
Ayane: Well everyone, I say we do an Anime Fast Forward©!  
  
Everyone: O_o  
  
Ayane: *Rolls eyes and clicks her fingers*  
  
And now, we are at the Cell Games! And Mr.Satan and that idiot TV announcer are here!  
  
*Cell and Mr Satan fall over anime style*  
  
Ayane: Wow...I didn't screw up this time!^^  
  
Cell: HOW DID THEY GET HERE?!  
  
Quina: Mmmm...Cell look like good food...*Drools*  
  
Goku: Mmmm yeah...*Drools a river*  
  
Vegeta: O_O Uhhh...  
  
Oh yeah! *Brings out massive Hi-Fi and presses play. The Starlights Transformation music plays* # STARLIGHTS! OOOEEEOOOEEEOOOEEOOOOEOOO! DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA! *Sweatdrops* It's catchy!  
  
Aeris: Oh...my...god...  
  
*Goku, Squall and Kuja are dressed as the Sailor Starlights O_O*  
  
Ayane: GOKU! GET DOWN FROM THERE!  
  
Goku: Nuh-uh! *Poses* Sailor Star Fighter!  
  
Squall: Sailor Star Maker!  
  
Kuja: Sailor Star Healer! *Dodges's Cloud's sword*  
  
Cloud: I WANNA BE YATEN! WAAAAA! *Bawls*  
  
Kuja: *Pushes Cloud out of the spotlight and poses with the rest* Sailor Starlights! Stage on!  
  
Piccolo: O____O Wait, shoudn't there be a Sailor Moon posing with them?  
  
Ayane: *Rolls eyes* Nobody here has the hair for it...I know!  
  
*Switches tapes and the Outer Senshi's music plays* Damn classy music! It roxors! And Ayane and Aeris appear dressed in Sailor Star fukus! (For the record, the Sailor Star outfit is like Eternal Sailor Moons, except that there are two layers on the skirt instead of one. And the Sailor's colour i.e Chikyuu: Light green, Kakyuu: Blood red; is the first, while second colour is a pastel version. And there are no wings...they suck ass -_- The phrase "Sailor Star *insert planet name* is constantly mixed up with "Eternal Sailor *insert planet name*" If you don't believe me, read the manga! This fuku only really exists in there anyway^^)  
  
Ayane: I am Sailor Chikyuu! Guarding the internet from evil green androids who absorbed 17 *Sniffle* I will punish you, in the name of Earth! *Poses*  
  
Aeris: I am Sailor Kakyuu! My planet hasn't been discovered yet, so I get the crap name! *Coughs* In the name of Kakyuu I will punish you! *Poses*  
  
*Krillin hops into the fanfic wearing a pink fuku and holding a snooker cue*  
  
Krillin: I am Sailor Cueball! I guard bald guys from assholes like you! In the name of short bald guys I will POLISH you! *Poses*  
  
*Krillin hops back out of the fanfic*  
  
Cell: X_X Now can I fight you?  
  
Chikyuu: Nuh-uh! Not before Tuxedo Sephiroth shows up!  
  
Sephiroth: I am NOT wearing a tuxedo! And I don't throw hissy roses thank- you-very-much!  
  
Mr.Satan: I WILL DEFEAT CELL! BWAHAHA! I'LL BE THE HERO AND YOU WILL WORSHIP ME!  
  
Kakyuu: Hmmm...Kakyuu Penpal Crash! *Throws a bunch of postcards at Mr.Satan*  
  
Chikyuu: Chikyuu Cherryblossom Chain! *Ties up Mr. Satan*  
  
Starlights: Starlights Kick-The-Asshole-To-Jupiter Attack! *Kick Mr.Satan to Jupiter*  
  
And everyone high-fives! And then...Cell gets pissed off and starts the tournament! Fight 1 :-  
  
Sailor Star Fighter (Goku) Vs Cell!  
  
Fighter: Uhhh...do I have to fight in this leather? It's chafing me!  
  
Healer: As a fellow Starlight, always stay in uniform!  
  
Maker: So there! *Gives Cell the finger* You will fall to the wrath of the Starlights!  
  
Cell: Urrrr...  
  
Maker: WA! Star Gentle Uterus!  
  
*Everyone puts up an umbrella as the uterus goo splatters everywhere*  
  
*Dodges all the goo* Ummm...raise your right hand if you thought Maker's attack sounded stupid! *Raises hand*  
  
*Everyone minus Squall raises their right hand*  
  
Fighter: Ahh sod this *Dials mobile phone* Yeah I'd like to order 40 pizzas, every topping, hold the anchovies.  
  
*Pizza truck comes along and Fighter hitches a ride*  
  
Fighter: The nearest Pizza Hut, STAT! *Drives off*  
  
Cell: Heheheh, Sailor Star Fighter was too scared to fight me! Who is next?  
  
Healer: I will!^^ *Steps into the ring and charges at Cell*  
  
Cell: O_o  
  
Healer: STAR SENSITIVE STICK ATTACK! *Whaps Cell with a hockey stick*  
  
Cell: *Bats Kuja out of the ring and rolls his eyes* How many times do I have to be humiliated in your fanfics Ayane?  
  
Chikyuu: *Counts* Ummm...345,9880,1128,908,345,154,783!  
  
Kakyuu: *Gets out a calculator, while pressing random buttons* She's only 2 numbers off?!  
  
Chikyuu: *Does the peace sign* Well I do ace maths y'know^^  
  
Cell: WELL IS ANYONE SENSIBLE GUNNA FIGHT LITTLE OLD ME?! I WAS THE DAMN GUY WHO CREATED THIS TOURNAMENT YA HILLBILLIES! ( :D )  
  
Chikyuu: Oh alright then -_- Get up here Aeri- I mean Kakyuu!  
  
*The arena darkens, and two spotlights appear. One is on Chikyuu and the other on Kakyuu (DUH!) They are back to back, each holding their weapons (Aeris with her samurai sword and Ayane with her iron fans^^)*  
  
Chikyuu: The skies have darkened...  
  
Kakyuu: The new age is upon us...  
  
Chikyuu: We are...  
  
Kakyuu: The one and only...  
  
Both Senshi: THE-ONLY-GODAMN-SENSHI-WHO'LL-BE-SUCCESSFUL-IN-A-FIGHT-NOT- COUNTING-THE-OUTER-SCOUTS! *Both pose*  
  
Cell: *Is reading Pride And Predujice (as lent to him by Tigerseye, ask Zelly :D ), with his reading glasses on* You finished yet?  
  
Kakyuu: We have one more suprise! *Evil grin*  
  
Chikyuu: CHIBIS! ATTACK!  
  
Cell: Oh shit... O___O  
  
*About 34,000 chibi female commandos all maul Cell with their grenades, uzis, bazookas and colt guns, and all self-destruct*  
  
Chikyuu: When the going get's tough-  
  
Kakyuu: -Blow them all up!  
  
*And then a massive birthday cake appears with the words "Happy Birthday Aeris!" So all of the Final Fantasy people, DBZ and Sailor Moon senshi all run into this fanfic and sing "Happy Birthday!"*  
  
Tigerseye: Blow out the candles and make a wish!  
  
Sailor Moon: Oooo! Cake! *Is smacked away by Vegita*  
  
Kakyuu: (I wish that Sephiroth was mine! All mine!!! BWAHAHAHA!) *Blows out candles*  
  
*Limosine pulls up and Kakyuu pushes Sephiroth in, gets in, locks the doors and orders the driver to drive off really really really REALLY fast*  
  
Chikyuu: Just use your sick minds to work it out...X_X  
  
*Then, a big storming cloud appears, and shoots a beam at Trunks and Kuja...KILLING THEM! *Sobs* Why?! WHY?!?!?!?*  
  
..............................................................  
  
*At KujasGirl's house...*  
  
KujasGirl: *Is reading the above fic* THE FUCKING BASTARD! *Gets on phone* GARNET! CELL KILLED KUJA AND TRUNKS! ENTER THE FANFIC AND LET'S GO KICK HIS ASS! *Jumps into PC*  
  
..............................................................  
  
Cell: Fuhuhuhuhuhuhuh...who did I hit?  
  
Vegita: T-Trunks!  
  
Zidane: Brother!  
  
Cell: Trunks and Monkey Boy eh? Ahahaha...  
  
*Zidane and Vegita go absolutly bananas, and proceed to blast Cell into oblivion (or so they thought). They're just smacked into mountains :( *  
  
Goku + Gohan: KAAAAAAMEEEEEEHAAAAAMEEEEE-*Are also smacked into mountains*  
  
Quina: Me no like these odds! *Goes to hide under a rock*  
  
Chikyuu: Oh and Squall, don't even bother asking me if you can be in my next fanfic *Sends Squall "To The Next Dimension" X_X*Looks like the only ones that are gonna fight are me, Cloud, Vivi and Piccolo-san.  
  
Piccolo: Ah damn...*Writes will* Anyone here want my Beanie Baby collection?  
  
Cloud: *Waves hand round* ME!  
  
Vivi: O_o  
  
Cloud: Ahem...but I'm only missing Angel Bear! ^_^  
  
Chikyuu: *Rolls eyes* You do realise that Cell is charging a really big Kamehameha wave and it's aimed at us all while you two BICKER ABOUT BEANIE BABIES!  
  
Cell: Kaaaaa...  
  
Cloud: *Hides under rock* MOMMY! JENOVA! ANYONE!  
  
Cell: Meeee...  
  
Piccolo: *Drops to the floor and covers his head*  
  
Cell: Haaa...  
  
Vivi: *Hides with Cloud*  
  
Cell: Meee....  
  
Chikyuu: But hark! I hear the sounds of an army (Lay off the crack Ayane!) *Smacks herself upside the head*  
  
*And then KujasGirl, Garnet and every single Kuja and Trunks fan in the world appear, and have formed an army!*  
  
Cell: Not again... O__O  
  
KujasGirl: Artillery! At the ready! *Raises her "Flying Spatula" (Copyright KujasGirl)*  
  
*Everyone at the front raises their kitchen knives, magic wand, whatever thing they found*  
  
Garnet: Calvary! Steady!  
  
*Everyone on their scooters and bikes grin evilly*  
  
KujasGirl/Garnet: CHAAAAARGE!  
  
*The "Battle Of Britain" song plays, while everyone beats the crap out of Cell*  
  
Chikyuu, Cloud, Vivi & Piccolo: O______X  
  
*The army finishes beating up Cell and all zip back to their homes*  
  
Cell: THAT'S IT! I'M SICK OF BEING HUMILIATED IN EVERY SINGLE FUCKING STORY! I QUIT! GAME OVER! I'M GONNA GO RETIRE! DIE TORIYAMA! ARRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH! *Teleports to Florida*  
  
Chikyuu: *Detransforms* YAAAAAY! Cell! Is! Gone! *Dances the waltz with Vivi (Sorry, bad pun. Black Mage, the waltz...geddit?*  
  
..............................................................  
  
*And so with Cell defeated, the DBZ senshi ressurected Kuja and Trunks, Goku didn't die (although later on at the victory bash he did get a bad case of food poisoning), Gohan did however go SSJ2 a little later, Trunks went back home and defeated the Androids and Cell (his timeline), and one night before the FF Senshi went home...*  
  
Ayane: *Sitting down outside on Master Roshi's island* Damn bad luck...how come I never get any cute guys...Sephy's with Aeris now...Trunks is gone...Kuja is property of KujasGirl...Piccolo's antisocial...Cloud is gay *Mumbles*  
  
Vegita: Hey, kid.  
  
Ayane: Oh hi Vegita...*Sighs*  
  
Vegita: (I can't believe I'm doing this) What's wrong girl? *Sighs*  
  
Ayane: One, my name is Ayane and two you wouldn't understand...  
  
Vegita: You can tell me. It's not as if I'm gonna tell anyone ne?  
  
Ayane: *Rolls eyes* Oh alright...Aeris is now with Sephiroth who was my crush, Cloud is gay so he's bad territory, Kuja is KujasGirl's, and everyone else is taken for...*Shakes her head* Life sucks major monkey crap...  
  
Vegita: *Raises eyebrow* No they're not.  
  
Ayane: Well let's see now *Counts on fingers* Well so far Krillin, Yamucha and Tien are...bleargh. Piccolo isn't exactly the girlfriend type, Goku is married, you're Bulma's husba-  
  
Vegita: -No I'm not! Why the hell would I go out with that woman?!  
  
Ayane: Well if you're not with Bulma, than who is Trunk's son?  
  
Vegita: His timeline is different to ours...and according to that Sailor Pluto I talked to this is a waaaay different timeline than the one you humans watch on TV. Besides, I'm way better than Kakarot!  
  
Ayane: *Raises eyebrow* In what way Vegita?  
  
Vegita: I'm a Prince, and I am the strongest person on this planet!  
  
Ayane: *Coughs* Nope!  
  
Vegita: What?!  
  
Ayane: Don't forget, their's Goku and Goh-  
  
Vegita: I AM WAY STRONGER THAN HIS HALF-BREED BRAT!  
  
Ayane: No you're not!  
  
Vegita: Am too!  
  
Ayane: Am not!  
  
Vegita: Am too!  
  
Ayane: Am not!  
  
Vegita: Am too!  
  
Ayane: Am no-  
  
Vegita: -*Pecks Ayane on the lips, causing her to shut up immediatly* Told you I was the strongest. *Smirks*  
  
Ayane: Woah...didn't see that coming... O_O  
  
Vegita: Now are you happy?  
  
Ayane: Heehee^^ *Snuggles into Vegita* Life is bliss! ^_^  
  
*Both watch the stars, while the sea makes gentle waves and uhh...Insert really romantic thing other than the Moon, because Piccolo blew that up*  
  
  
  
The End! (What A Nice Story ^___^) 


End file.
